A Cop Files Police Report Against His
Girlfriend For Beating Him With A Justin Bieber Doll
Assault By Bieber Doll
March 12. 2012
I will take this microphone and shove it right up your
butt!
You just can't make this stuff up. A police officer in
Denver, Colorado named Michael Nuanes Jr., filled out a police report
and had his girlfriend arrested for...wait for it...beating him with a
Justin Bieber doll during a fight.
The question is, was it his doll or hers (LOL). The cop
claims the doll injured his foot during the beating and "it hurt." It
takes a strong man secure in his sexuality to admit something like that
(okay, no it doesn't). Keep it up and the other cops are going to revoke
your badge and membership card to Dunkin Donuts over these Bieber doll
admissions.
Justin Bieber
Another thing - exactly what do they make those Bieber
dolls with that they can injure a cop's foot. Where's "60 Minutes" when
you need them for an investigation.
Side Bar: If I were a man (you know, like
Madonna) and a cop, I wouldn't even admit the injury occurred via a
Bieber doll beating. I'd say something macho like the bruise happened
while lifting a 1,000 pound weight at the gym, during the 50th rep.
Side Bar 2: the officer deserved to be arrested
for beating his girlfriend (he allegedly pulled her hair out and punched
her in the ribs, among other things). If I were her, I wouldn't have
beaten him with a Justin Bieber doll...I'd have beaten him with the real
Justin Bieber.
STORY SOURCE
Cop: Girlfriend Attacked Me With Justin Bieber Doll
POSTED: 9:42 pm MDT March 11, 2012 - Officer Michael Nuanes,
Jr., 37, said that his girlfriend hurled a Barbie-sized Justin Bieber
doll at him, injuring his foot. He also accused the girlfriend of
kicking him, biting his finger and choking him, according to an Adams
County sheriff detective's sworn statement supporting an arrest warrant.
"Michael Nuanes stated that (his girlfriend) had thrown a 'Barbie
Doll' at him, which bruised his foot and (said) that it hurt," the
affidavit said. "Nuanes pointed out a 'Justin Bieber' doll, which was
the item used to injure him."
The 42-year-old girlfriend accused Nuanes of pulling her hair out and
punching her in the ribs, the affidavit said. The girlfriend also said
that Nuanes kicked in the locked door of a bathroom where she had taken
refuge and then he hit her over the head and back with part of the
broken door.
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