Judiciary Report - Innocent Shark Bites "American Idol" Host Seacrest

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Innocent Shark Bites "American Idol" Host

Seacrest Bitten In The Sea

Team Shark!

July 30. 2008

Ryan Seacrest

In some thoroughly sad news, an innocent sand shark was injured when it bit into flaming American Idol host Ryan Seacrest.

The extent of the homophobic shark’s injuries are not known, though it is being said the animal lost a tooth as it tried to mess up Seacrest’s toe. Good shark! Next time aim for the butt.

Seacrest, you are such a liar. That shark didn't bite you. You stuck your foot in its mouth. What proof do you have that sharks bite people anyway? And a few hundred news headlines don't count.

Sand Shark

But don't worry guys. The shark's okay and may just need a little bridge work. Seacrest was crying and "took an Advil" or something. Whatever!

Note to Seacrest: next time I'm going to send Jaws after you.

Sidebar: Ryan Seacrest must have some crusty feet for a shark to bite him and lose a tooth. Besides, I thought all gays had pedicures. What happened? Missed an appointment?

Ryan Seacrest, shark bite

The " American Idol" host told his KIIS-FM radio listeners Monday about his harrowing ocean encounter.

"I was bit by a shark!" he said, according to usmagazine.com. Seacrest said he was about 8 feet out in water about 4 feet deep, when he felt something swim by. "I thought it was a stick."

"He took a bite and he left," Seacrest reportedly said, adding that the apparent shark left a tooth in the wound.

http://www.chicagotribune.com