Lindsay Lohan's Dad Pleads With Judge For Her

May 10. 2010

Lindsay Lohan

Michael Lohan, the dad of fallen, one time Hollywood child star and current Kabbalah cult member, Lindsay Lohan, has beseeched a judge on her behalf, imploring she not throw his daughter in jail for violating her probation again. Lohan has been arrested for DUI and drug possession.  

The request was submitted by attorney, Lisa Bloom, daughter of well-know lawyer, Gloria Allred. It is only natural that he would seek to keep his daughter out of jail. Instead, he wants the judge to order Lindsay to rehab and require mandatory, frequent drug testing.

In other legal news, Lindsay Lohan's frivolous lawsuit against online brokerage house, E*trade, is in jeopardy, as the company has filed a "Motion to Dismiss." E*trade released an ad featuring a "milkaholic" baby named "Lindsay" engaged in a love triangle. 

Lindsay Lohan drinking

Then, "alcoholic" adult "Lindsay" who is broke in real life, saw similarities to herself and sued, seeking a big payday. However, Lindsay's claim E*trade tarnished her good name is laughable, because when you make racist statements about black people, get drunk and high often, party in public until you fall over on your face, repeatedly miss work, sleep with half of Hollywood, fight your girlfriend in public, steal expensive clothes and jewelry and run over a bystander's foot with a vehicle, your name is pretty much gone. 

Furthermore, parody is covered under copyright law and not that many people known Lohan solely by her first name. There are  many famous Lindsays in Hollywood. How can Lohan truly prove she has been injured in this case, when she has embarrassed herself more than E*Trade ever could.  

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